he's just not that into you

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DEAR ****: I was engaged for 18 months to "Jerry," a man I wanted to marry. We become engaged after dating for six months, but we had known each other three years before becoming romantically involved.

A few weeks ago, Jerry announced that he wants to end our engagement because he is going through a "selfish period" in his life and wants to be able to go out without feeling guilty.

I believe Jerry is seeing someone else, but he is adamant that this is only for him -- his chance to be independent. He said he wants me to give him a chance to possibly rekindle our relationship in a year. I don't know if I'm willing to do that. Any advice? -- BROKENHEARTED IN PHOENIX

DEAR SILVER MEDAL: To put your mind at ease I am fairly sure the “Jerry” is not screwing any one else…yet. What he has politely said to you is “I can probably do much much better than you and I don’t think any one else wants to put there dick in you any time soon.” He’s told you that he’s going through a selfish period. He is a male, 6am – 10pm is a selfish period.

The good new is that there is a slim chance he really could be one of those evolved emo guys that is in touch with his feelings and wants to explore his true self and other new age bullshit. The bad news is you’d be dating an emo guy, and if that’s the case please run into traffic, you have nothing to live for.

If you were really hot he wouldn’t be looking elsewhere and you wouldn’t be putting up with him saying this crazy shit to you. My guess is you can’t be more than a 6 on a 1 to 10 scale. So my suggestion is spend this year doing crunches and reading self help books. In the year it takes him to realize that you were the best he can do you’ll be out of his league.

Yours,

N. Sowl